Why Is Pregnancy (& Everything That Goes Along With It) Taboo?

There’s a reason women don’t talk about the challenges of pregnancy and everything that goes along with it - shame. We see women who have no problem breastfeeding and producing enough milk, who quickly “bounce back” after giving birth, and who seemingly have it all together.

The shame starts to creep in as we question ourselves: Why can’t I produce enough milk to feed my baby? I’ve actually gained weight since giving birth, I thought the pounds were supposed to “fall” off while I was breastfeeding? Will I ever make it through another day without crying?

And while some women seem to have it all together, the truth is that no one really knows what they’re doing. The fact of the matter is, women are not educated when it comes to pregnancy and everything that goes along with it because the research isn’t there.

In addition to actually giving birth, women are expected to “just know” things. Prenatal vitamins line the store shelves, and stories of successful breastfeeding are all over social media. But most women don’t quite know where to start, and I don’t blame them.

When should I actually start a prenatal vitamin - oh, well before I even start trying to conceive? How do I breastfeed a hungry, crying infant - oh, it’s not as simple as 1, 2, 3, latch?

My philosophy has always been fairly simple: For women, it starts when we’re young - when we first get our periods. Following the initial shock of blood, we’re met with hushed tones from our mothers or caregivers explaining what’s happening, and we become ashamed, even embarrassed.

As we get older, we strategically wear long sleeve shirts to work when we have our periods so we can slip (hide) tampons up the sleeve because God forbid anyone actually sees you carrying a tampon! And it doesn’t stop there, it actually gets worse.

Women suffer in silence throughout all stages of life. And while shame creeps in to almost every unique situation - whether it be heavy menstrual bleeding, leaking urine after pregnancy, struggling to breastfeed your baby, night sweats during menopause - don’t even get me started on gaslighting from the medical field.

In addition to “just knowing” what we’re supposed to do throughout every stage of being a woman, our health concerns are constantly blamed on stress, hormones, and even our imaginations by doctors. And because we’re not getting answers from doctors on top of the fact that we’re constantly comparing ourselves to women who (seemingly) successfully master breastfeeding or strength training during menopause (who most likely suffer in silence), we don’t speak up and end up coping with debilitating, confusing health issues.

Women are screaming at the medical system and the world to pay attention to us. And although open conversations with close friends can help us feel supported and seen for a fleeting moment, it never gets easier, we just learn to live with it.